I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
