how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
there is puke in my bra ... again
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