i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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