He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
