I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
