If i come over, it means nothing
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
