i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
