i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
