your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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