im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
