And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
