We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
