This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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