respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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