I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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