i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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