You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Damn victory sex feels great
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
