cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
