when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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