Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
