never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
