so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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