your parents love me but you hate me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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