it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
