I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
