dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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