note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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