She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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