you traded sex for a burrito?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
