yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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