So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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