We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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