we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
