So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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