He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
