I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on