I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.