I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
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I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him