I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell