Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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(415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3

Replies (16) Good night (2003) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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(845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck. http://tfl.nu/wpar

Replies (17) Good night (919) Bad night (2651) Order T-Shirt
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(416): View more from Ontario

Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.

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(416): Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only. http://tfl.nu/udpk

Replies (33) Good night (4524) Bad night (891)
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(407): View more from Florida

My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.

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(407): My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options. http://tfl.nu/3za2

Replies (33) Good night (3655) Bad night (1385) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating

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(314): i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating http://tfl.nu/x9qt

Replies (45) Good night (5068) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

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(847): i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding http://tfl.nu/srhr

Replies (12) Good night (5314) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.

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(970): So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am. http://tfl.nu/w1ts

Replies (34) Good night (4515) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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(716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e

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(443): View more from Maryland

just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!

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(443): just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?! http://tfl.nu/h1we

Replies (13) Good night (6524) Bad night (915)
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(954): View more from Florida

I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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(954): I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom. http://tfl.nu/1p31

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?

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(954): I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home? http://tfl.nu/a7up

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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(843): I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today http://tfl.nu/bbq7

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

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(717): I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions http://tfl.nu/aecl

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

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(727): I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe" http://tfl.nu/2m07

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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin

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(970): Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin http://tfl.nu/mrds

Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt

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