I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?