bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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