nut hugger
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
