Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
