Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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