I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
