My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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