i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize