Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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