i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have feelings that need drinking.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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