I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize