I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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