His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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