I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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