She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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