I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
