True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
