I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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