Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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